First Things First

I've read my colleagues' first several efforts in this space with a mixture of awe and confusion. Awe, because they all seem to know a lot more about music than do I, and confusion because I have no idea why I was asked to join this particular forum. I love music, don't get me wrong, but my memory for artists, song titles, album names, even lyrics is simply abysmal. (Were this blog dedicated to sports - not the Huey Lewis album - I might be able to offer something worth the electrons it's printed upon.)

That said, I'm taking it upon myself to serve as the voice of the masses for this august group of musicphiles. I'll toss in a woefully under-researched album review here and there (look for a take on the Old 97's new effort, Drag It Up, in the next few days), wax reverential about my 5 favorite albums of all-time (at the moment, in no particular order: Workbook by Bob Mould, Life's Rich Pageant by R.E.M., Paul's Boutique by Beastie Boys, BloodSugarSexMagik by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Satellite Rides by the aforementioned Old 97's - and if that isn't a narrow enough list of faves for you, then you probably know less about music than I do. Hell, every member of each of those bands is a white guy. Crikey.), ask penetratingly obvious questions of my blogcolleagues, and try to learn from their seriously worrisome dedication to all things musical.

Duck and Cover

Last fall my friend Brian Hunt at Wondermore Records penned an article on cover songs for their monthly newsletter. He praised the concept and listed some of the classics, but he also lamented the ever-increasing number of terrible re-makes. I decided to expand upon on that point, and though he posted some of the text in a subsequent publishing, here’s my take on covers in its entirety.


I thought Brian hit the nail on the head with his praise for the more adventuresome covers and his indictment of the all-too-often attempts at sheer mimicry. Uninspired takes at proven classics are aural drudgery, and unfortunately, they are being heard with increasing frequency. It’s as if covering a song has become a tool for the underachieving musician, one who sees the hard part (writing the song) already completed and who realizes the allure of a cover to the fans. How many times has the lineup of artists on a tribute album evoked high hopes of new classics, only to have those hopes dashed by lifeless renditions of great songs? Some of the match-ups of cover artist to cover tune seem brilliant on paper, but the final product just doesn’t take you anywhere new. Whether it’s stripping down a heavy rocker, amping up a slow strummer, changing musical styles, changing tempos, changing lyrics – you’ve gotta do something to raise an eyebrow.

And then, out of nowhere, you come across somebody’s take of somebody else’s tune and it just blows you away, reinventing itself in an innovative form. If only all artists would perceive the challenge of properly covering a song as exactly that – a challenge, wherein the creativity not spent penning lyrics or chords must be channeled toward refreshing something old into something new, then we wouldn’t be forced to sift though dozens of tepid recreations just to find the rare dazzler. To-a-tee duplications take talent and have their place – live shows, especially by bar bands. Too many talented acts take the easy path on cover tunes when a bit more daring could have produced something renowned.

For all of that negativity, I am ever optimistic in pursuit of great cover songs, and they can be found everywhere. In the past few months alone, I have been introduced to enjoyable covers of The Replacements’ “Androgynous” (by Crash Test Dummies), Culture Club’s “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me” (by the Violent Femmes), and Prince’s “When You Were Mine” (by Brian’s gal Cyndi Lauper). And as ubiquitous as this musical borrowing has become these days, there are enough folks taking cracks at it that there should always be impressive interpretations reaching us. In the meantime, it just takes a little excavation to unearth (blatantly drawing metaphors from Johnny Cash’s fantastic cover-filled box set) some already existent, exceptional, alternate versions of old songs you may or may not have heard before. In some cases, songs that have been played to death over the years, ones you never thought you could stomach again, come back as fresh as ever – a new lease on life for these dead songs. The bottom line on covers is that any song worth its salt should be covered in a fashion that does it the justice it deserves – with all of the creativity, energy, and ingenuity that generated the original. Here’s a long (and yet far from definitive) list of some worthy tributes that do just that.

50 Great Cover Tunes, in no order
[Artist’s Cover Tune (Originally written or popularized by this artist)]

Earth, Wind, & Fire’s “Got to Get You Into My Life” (Beatles)
Stevie Ray Vaughan’s “Little Wing” (Jimi Hendrix)
Talking Heads’ “Take Me to the River” (Al Green)
Jane’s Addiction’s “Sympathy for the Devil” (Rolling Stones)
Aimee Mann’s “One” (Three Dog Night)
Smashing Pumpkins’ “Never Let Me Down Again” (Depeche Mode)
The Jam’s “David Watts” (Kinks)
Morrissey’s “That’s Entertainment” (The Jam)
Red Hot Chili Peppers’ “Higher Ground” (Stevie Wonder), “Fire” (Jimi Hendrix), or “Love Rollercoaster” (Ohio Players)
Johnny Cash’s “Rusty Cage” (Soundgarden), “One” (U2), or “Solitary Man” (Neil Diamond)
Eric Clapton’s “I Shot the Sheriff” (Bob Marley & the Wailers)
Cracker’s “White Riot” (Clash)
Rage Against the Machine’s “Renegades of Funk” (Afrika Bambaataa)
Cowboy Junkies’ “Sweet Jane” (Velvet Underground)
Toad the Wet Sprocket’s “Rock and Roll All Night” (KISS)
Grateful Dead’s “Mama Tried” (Merle Haggard)
Hootie & the Blowfish’s “Hey Hey What Can I Do” (Led Zeppelin)
Joan Jett’s “Crimson & Clover” (Tommy James & the Shondells)
Pixies’ “Winterlong” (Neil Young)
Phish’s “Glass Onion” (Beatles)
Tom Jones & The Cardigans’ “Burning Down the House” (Talking Heads)
Nirvana’s “The Man Who Sold the World” (David Bowie)
Bananarama’s “Venus” (Shocking Blue)
English Beat’s “Tears of a Clown” (Smokey Robinson & the Miracles)
U2’s “Helter Skelter” (Beatles)
Big Head Todd & the Monster’s “Tangerine” (Led Zeppelin)
Bangles’ “Hazy Shade of Winter” (Simon & Garfunkel)
Urge Overkill’s “Girl, You’ll Be a Woman Soon” (Neil Diamond)
R.E.M.’s “Superman” (The Clique)
Cat Stevens’ “Another Saturday Night” (Sam Cooke)
Frente’s “Bizarre Love Triangle” (New Order)
Corsby, Stills, & Nash’s “Blackbird” (Beatles)
Bow Wow Wow’s “I Want Candy” (Strangeloves)
Mary Chapin Carpenter’s “Passionate Kisses” (Lucinda Williams)
Cake’s “I Will Survive” (Gloria Gaynor)
Jack Black’s “Let’s Get It On” (Marvin Gaye)
The Clash’s “Pressure Drop” (Toots & the Maytals) or “English Civil War” (Traditional)
Dead Kennedys’ “I Fought the Law” (Bobby Fuller Four)
Goldfinger’s “Rio” (Duran Duran)
Pearl Jam’s “Rockin’ in the Free World” (Neil Young)
Patti Smith’s “When Doves Cry” (Prince)
Georgia Satellites’ “Don’t Pass Me By” (Beatles)
Pretenders’ “Stop Your Sobbing” (Kinks)
Soul Asylum’s “Sexual Healing” (Marvin Gaye)
Blind Melon’s “Out on the Tiles” (Led Zeppelin)
X’s “Crystal Ship” (Doors)
Connells’ “I Got You” (Split Enz)
Mick Jagger & Lenny Kravitz’s “Use Me” (Bill Withers)
The Presidents of the USA’s “Video Killed the Radio Star” (Buggles)
Camper van Beethoven’s “Pictures of Matchstick Men” (Status Quo), “Photograph” (Ringo Starr/George Harrison), “Interstellar Overdrive” (Pink Floyd), “O Death” (Traditional), or “Tusk” [the entire album] (Fleetwood Mac)

10 Covers That Were Just Crazy Enough That They Might Work (And Did):

Garth Brooks’s “Hard Luck Woman” (KISS)
Devo’s “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” (Rolling Stones)
Duran Duran’s “White Lines” (Grandmaster Flash)
Johnny Cash’s “Hurt” (Nine Inch Nails)
Gwyneth Paltrow’s “Bette Davis Eyes” (Kim Carnes)
Faith No More’s “Easy” (Commodores)
Aztec Camera’s “Jump” (Van Halen)
Dynamite Hack’s “Boyz-N-the-Hood” (Eazy-E / N.W.A.)
Tom Jones & The Art of Noise’s “Kiss” (Prince)
Tori Amos’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” (Nirvana)

5 Artists Who Benefited Greatly From Covering Songs (and a few of the many songs)

Joe Cocker (“With a Little Help from My Friends,” “She Came in Through the Bathroom Window,” “The Letter,” “You Can Leave Your Hat On”)
Tom Jones (“What’s New Pussycat?”, “Kiss,” “Burning Down the House,” “Little Green Bag”)
Linda Ronstadt (“That'll Be the Day,” “Heat Wave,” “When Will I Be Loved?”, “It's So Easy,” “Poor, Poor Pitiful Me”)
Van Halen (“You Really Got Me,” “You’re No Good,” “Where Have All the Good Times Gone?”, “Oh, Pretty Woman,” “Dancing in the Street”)
UB40 [“Red Red Wine,” “I Got You Babe,” “Can’t Help Falling in Love,” “Here I Am (Come and Take Me)]
Honorable Mention: Jerry Lee Lewis, Smash Mouth, and Johnny Cash’s last decade

5 Artists Among Those Who Spawned the Most Covers

The Beatles
Neil Diamond
Chuck Berry
Bruce Springsteen
The Kinks

Honorable Mention: Prince, though some weren’t covers, just songs he gave away. Weird little guy; great songwriter.

Three Decent Tribute Albums

[Tribute albums are invariably uneven, and most are downright crummy. I could only come up with three solid ones, plus one that isn’t even real . . .]

Led Zeppelin: Encomium
Grateful Dead: Deadicated
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Under the Covers
Bruce Springsteen: the one you make yourself combining songs from the – count ‘em – 10 Bruce tribute albums:

Cover Me: Songs by Springsteen [1984]
Bruce Springsteen Songbook [1996]
One Step Up/Two Steps Back: The Songs of Bruce Springsteen [1997]
Pickin' on Springsteen [1999]
Songs of Bruce Springsteen [2000]
Badlands: A Tribute To Bruce Springsteen's Nebraska [2000]
Bruce Springsteen Tribute: Made in the U.S.A. [2001]
String Quartet Tribute to Bruce Springsteen: Home Town [2002]
Tribute to Bruce Springsteen [2003]
Light of Day: A Tribute to Bruce Springsteen [2003]

Others worth at least a partial listen include The Kinks: This Is Where I Belong, Neil Young: The Bridge, and the Stones: Cover You. Most of the rest that come to mind are, in some ways, . . . terrible.

The Cover Song Starter Kit, or 10 Tracks Among Those Covered the Most Often
(and who wrote or popularized it, and just some of the artists who covered it)

“House of the Rising Sun” (Traditional/Josh White): Animals, Joan Baez, Jimi Hendrix, Jerry Garcia, Bob Dylan, Waylon Jennings, Hank Williams Jr., Bon Jovi
“Can’t Help Falling in Love” (Elvis Presley): UB40, Perry Como, Kenny Rogers, Bob Dylan, Neil Diamond, Erasure, Corey Hart, Brian Setzer, Bono, Pearl Jam
“I Heard It Through the Grapevine” (Marvin Gaye): Creedence Clearwater Revival, Ike & Tina Turner, Gladys Knight & the Pips, Ella Fitzgerald, Joe Cocker, Ronnie Milsap, Rare Earth, The Slits
“Yesterday” (The Beatles): Ray Charles, Merle Haggard, Marvin Gaye, Tom Jones, Supremes, Placido Domingo, Michael Bolton, Boyz II Men, En Vogue, Liberace, Zamfir, Don Ho, Elvis Presley
“Stand By Me” (Ben E. King): John Lennon, Drifters, Jimi Hendrix, Jerry Lee Lewis, Taj Mahal, Meat Loaf, Sonny & Cher, T. Rex, U2, Muhammad Ali
“Dancing in the Street” (Martha & the Vandellas): Van Halen, Mick Jagger & David Bowie, Neil Diamond, Grateful Dead, Kinks, The Who, Carpenters, Everly Brothers, Michael Bolton, Mamas & the Papas, California Raisins
“Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door” (Bob Dylan): Eric Clapton, Jerry Garcia, Warren Zevon, Elvis Costello, Guns N’ Roses, Wyclef Jean, Random Idiots, Television, Avril Lavigne, John Daly
“Many Rivers to Cross” (Jimmy Cliff): UB40, Elvis Costello, Animals, Joe Cocker, Bill Withers, Linda Ronstadt, Cher, Harry Nilsson, Tom Tom Club
“(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” (Rolling Stones): Devo, Otis Redding, Buddy Guy, Aretha Franklin, Jose Feliciano, Tom Jones, Manfred Mann, Sam & Dave, Sly & Robbie, Mountain, Samantha Fox, Justine Bateman, Britney Spears

and the king of them all (i.e., if your band is looking to cover a song, start here) . . .

“Johnny B. Goode” (Chuck Berry): Beatles, Beach Boys, Jimi Hendrix, Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, John Denver, Grateful Dead, Elton John, Carpenters, Johnny Winter, George Thorogood, Buck Owens, Sex Pistols, Leif Garrett, Phish, Peter Tosh, Santana, Judas Priest, Twisted Sister, Green Bay Packers, Marty McFly, and many, many more . . .

10 of My Favorite All-Time Cover Songs (as of right now)

Uncle Tupelo’s “I Wanna Be Your Dog” (The Stooges)
The alt-country version of the proto-punk (enjoy the rock snob vernacular) tune takes it places it was never intended to go, with brilliant results.

Fiona Apple’s “Across the Universe” (Beatles)
I’m not even a huge fan of Fiona Apple’s, but it’s like this song was written for her.

Red Hot Chili Peppers’ “If You Want Me to Stay” (Sly & the Family Stone)
Funk rock band doing old funk rock song (with funk rock guru producing) isn’t a huge leap, but of all the Chilis’ covers, this one’s really . . . funky.

Devo’s “Working in a Coalmine” (Lee Dorsey)
God bless Devo. They oscillate between the ridiculous and the ludicrous. Now, if you really worked in a coalmine, do you think you’d be just sad like Lee Dorsey or completely insane like Devo?

Social Distortion’s “Ring of Fire” (Johnny Cash)
Country and punk are sonically distant but sentimentally intertwined, so it’s no surprise that this works.

Sarah McLachlan’s “Dear God” (XTC)
I’m impressed that as much as I love the original, I may enjoy this cover more.

Gipsy Kings’ “Hotel California” (Eagles)
One of the stylistic changes I didn’t mention: changing languages. If you’re weary of the original, this is for you.

Fabulous Thunderbirds’ “Wrap It Up” (Sam & Dave)
Guilty pleasure. Sorry.

Buckwheat Zydeco’s “Beast of Burden” (Rolling Stones)
If you’ve seen Buckwheat live, you know: This is his tune now.

Bruce Springsteen’s “Trapped” (Jimmy Cliff)
How many Springsteen fans coughed up $18 for the lame USA for Africa: We Are the World CD just for one fantastic song? All of them. From 1985 until 2003, the only place you could find this fantastic cover was on that album. This has to be his greatest contribution to social causes, salvaging an otherwise crummy record and single-handedly raising millions for starving people. Alas, now with the inclusion of “Trapped” on The Essential Bruce Springsteen, they’ll go hungry once again.

And 5 of the Worst (not counting William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, and the rest of the crew)

Ugly Kid Joe’s “Cat’s In the Cradle” (Harry Chapin)
Big Mountain’s “Baby I Love Your Way” (Peter Frampton)
Foo Fighters’ “Darling Nikki” (Prince)
Limp Bizkit’s “Behind Blue Eyes” (The Who)
Keith Moon’s “In My Life” (Beatles) [without drums?!]

And here’s the all-time worst . . . but semi-intentionally, so it’s pretty funny:
Sid Vicious’s “My Way” (Frank Sinatra)

The Cover Game

If you’ve ever played The Kevin Bacon Game for the world of cinema, you’ll see some parallels, but here’s how The Cover Game works. You have to get from Point A to Point B via covers, where instead of the links between artists being movies they’ve been in together, it’s songs they’ve both performed.

Here’s a quick example. To get from Paul McCartney to The Flaming Lips, you go:

Paul McCartney & Wings did “Live and Let Die” which was covered by
Guns N' Roses whose “Sweet Child O' Mine” was covered by
Sheryl Crow who also covered “Behind Blue Eyes” by
The Who whose “Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere” was covered by
Flaming Lips

There are instant ones, like getting to Tom Waits from . . . Tom Waits:

Tom Waits did “I Don’t Wanna Grow Up” which was covered by
The Ramones whose “The Return of Jackie and Judy” was covered by
Tom Waits

And then there are marathon ones, like getting from Louis Armstrong to Louis Armstrong using Bruce Springsteen three times and a pair of other artists twice (only fudging it once):

Louis Armstrong did “Wonderful World” which was covered by
Sam Cooke whose “Another Saturday Night” was covered by
Cat Stevens whose “Wild World” was covered by
Jimmy Cliff whose “Trapped” was covered by
Bruce Springsteen whose “Born to Run” was covered by
Frankie Goes to Hollywood whose “Relax” was covered by
The Dandy Warhols who also covered “Call Me” by
Blondie who covered “Heroes” by
David Bowie whose “The Man Who Sold the World” was covered by
Nirvana whose “Breed” was covered by
Steve Earle whose “Devil’s Right Hand” was covered by
Johnny Cash who also covered “Solitary Man” by
Neil Diamond whose “Red Red Wine” was covered by
UB40 who also covered “Cherry Oh Baby” which was also covered by
The Rolling Stones whose “Honky Tonk Women” was covered by
The Pogues who also covered “Dirty Old Town” which was covered by
Rod Stewart who also covered “Downtown Train” by
Tom Waits whose “Jersey Girl” was covered by
Bruce Springsteen whose “Johnny 99” was covered by
Johnny Cash who also covered “Father and Son” by
Cat Stevens whose “Peace Train” was covered by
10,000 Maniacs who also covered “Because the Night” by
Bruce Springsteen whose “Hungry Heart” was originally written for
The Ramones who covered “Wonderful World” by
Louis Armstrong

Enjoy.

get yourself a ukulele

My name is herb and this is my first blog. I can't type worth a shit, nor can I really write but I'll try this gig for a while at least, if only to lend my support to the vaca. Please bear with me, as it were.

I've been learning to play the ukulele. I've got a nice little Lanakai concert size model that my wife gave me for Christmas. Not a handmade Koa wood beauty but definitely not a toy. The reason I bring up the ukulele, which means "jumping flea" in Hawai'ian, is not to be braggardly or pompous (never!) but because it has enhanced the experience of music for me in the same way that hearing "Jump!" covered by Aztec Camera or "I Need Love" covered by Luka Bloom does.

So far I've learned to play a few Dan Zanes songs (for my kid of course) and a few old standby's (Crazy Love, Blue Sky) but the real tunes that have given me the most fun are "Rudie Can't Fail" and "God Only Knows." (I'm assuming that I don't need to always identify the artist along w/ a song here, right, people? Right.) As I'm sure that playing any number of tunes with an instrument (or collection of instruments) different than in the original one becomes closer to the true essence of the music in question. Not the words neccesarily, but the song itself. The chords, the changes, the meter and yes, the words. So, a Clash tune played on a ukulele is excellent in its own way. You know it's The Clash but it can be used as a lullaby. Playing a Brian Wilson mega-layered masterpiece on a uke is also a treat, much like a grape - simplified and beautiful.

Paring a song down to the bare minimum is not always a good thing, however. I think that Dylan's "Isis" from Desire is one of the best pieces of art ever. It can't be pared down or covered though, unless of course you have a witch who can play the violin, a piano that you can bang on and a seriously stuffed-up nose all at the same time.

There's really no point to this rambling, as you might have guessed, except the non-musical may want to consider getting a simpleton's musical instrument to become musical with. I would recommend against an accordion (thought about it, looks WAY too hard) despite its freaky cool cache. I've got a mountai dulcimer that is cool looking on the wall but I didn't ever manage to really get into it. I've gone through the motions w/ piano, harmonica and guitar - none of which were easy enough to learn to the point of enjoyment before I got fed up.

The ukulele is a good bet. It's small, very affordable, and it has only four strings so it's much easier to play a great diversity of chords - F#m w/ a dim 7th? No problem. It's got indie-cred, street-cred and aloha-cred. I thought about learning the penny-whistle but the idea of hanging out in my backyard tooting on a tin whistle sounded annoying to my neighbors. The uke is relaxing to those around you and easy to play. Bruce Springsteen probably has a ukulele.

Setting the Tone

Before we begin to compile the musical thoughts festering in our brains and compose new pieces about them, I'd like to introduce this site by resting on some very old not-quite-laurels. A few years back, I penned a bitter "harangue on the current music industry," as one fellow put it. It's a fairly accurate indication of what to expect here, at least from my contributions. Lots of bombastic ranting, snide comments, distracting asides, and holier-than-thou condescension. I just thought I'd prepare you.


From April 2001:

A comrade passed along a post from the Lucky Town Digest listserv group (of which I was once a member, admittedly) with this preface:

"Anyone like Bruce Springsteen? Anyone fascinated with just how fanatically dorky a person can become about a musician? Here is a ridiculous story."

[. . . skipping over the 17 syrupy paragraphs detailing a trip to Jack's Music Store on the eve of the Live in New York City album release by Bruce Springsteen, and how the Boss showed up and signed his stuff . . . all written in SuperFan escalation . . . this closing is all you need to imagine the rest . . .]

"Sorry if this e-mail's dripping with melodrama or foolish hyperbole. But I have to say, there are very few things in this world that we allow ourselves to truly feel an unadulterated, pure passion for. We're always afraid or reluctant to feel certain things, to say certain things at the right time, or to do things we really want to do. For some reason, we convince ourselves that there are better things to do than to tap into what makes us feel truly alive at a given moment in time. Yet, there's so little time, we fight, scrap, and struggle to make even a faint whisper of an impact around here. But there's at least one thing I do know: I know with certainty that the few seconds Bruce Springsteen gave me last night I'll cherish and carry with me for the rest of my life."

And I replied, with my own, less flowery Springsteen bias:

Well, I myself have gone to a record store at midnight to buy a new Bruce album, but it was because the store was offering the rest of the Springsteen library for 1/2 off. (Nice sales heads -- they're now out of business.)

To answer your first question, everyone likes Bruce Springsteen, whether they know it or not. You all like the Boss. Those of you who claim you don't are either still sick of him for all the radio overplay he received in 1984-86 or are the what-have-you-done-for-me-lately types who believe that the relative mediocrity of Lucky Touch Joad could possibly cast a shadow on Springsteen's previous two decades of true genius. Inclusion in either category makes you wrong, so just admit that you're a fan.

Of course, you could contend that you just honestly never liked his music, which would mean that you're pretty much allergic to good old rock and roll. In that case, feel free to cozy up with your Yngwie Malmsteen remixes or whatever teen pop bullshit is topping Billboard's running joke they're still calling "music" charts. I don't mean to get on a Dennis Miller here but there is no bigger black eye on the music industry from a rock and roll perspective than the Billboard corporation's weekly reminder that the general album-buying public is comprised mostly of tonedeaf cretins. Album sales are the key barometer for the ebb and flow of rock outfits. Oh, rock critics would have you believe their pens are mightier than the cash registers and that a benevolent bump-up or deleterious drag-down in stars, letter grade, or numerical ranking can make or break a band, but, oddly enough, label executives aren't prone to dropping an artist because their multiplatinum release got panned in Spin. So the ultimate judge and jury on rock and roll's future are the masses. Democracy, capitalism, power to the people. I'm getting teary. Except -- look at "the people" the next time you're in the record store. Yikes. This judge and jury is reminiscent of the brain trust formerly known as the O.J. jurors. And the glut of bad judgments, mistrials, and contemptible purchases are chronicled regularly by Billboard. This type of information is unhealthy for the morale of the industry, the artists, and the general population and should be squelched like anti-establishment preachings in Communist Georgia or gay rights publications in Stone Mountain, Georgia. I don't want to know that although Wilco, Ween, and Warren Zevon all put out damn fine albums in 2000, their combined album sales were roughly one-tenth of what numbers the frigging Backstreet Boys put up. I don't want to realize that for all the massive kudos, overblown credit, and figurative fellatio awarded Kurt Cobain for allegedly changing the face of rock and roll, Kurt, Nirvana, and the entire grunge movement were merely a blip on the radar between the New Kids and N'Sync. I don't want to have to accept that the face of popular music just started shaving two years ago. I don't want to read that Aerosmith is selling more albums peddling recycled, pseudo-melodic trash with tracks entitled "Luv Lies" and "Trip Hoppin'" than they ever did with genre-defining wonders like "Toys in the Attic" and "Sweet Emotion." I don't want to swallow the fact that the state of rock and roll is worse than the state of Mississippi. Most of all, speaking of Mississippi, I don't want to have to concede that the same formula that brought us Elvis Presley in 1956 (take a young, pretty face and write songs that he'll turn into hits the public will eat up) is still working today, despite the fact that the sounds emanated have become a big hunk o' crap. Now I really am getting teary.

As I bemoan the music scene, I realize that it's not like there aren't a million great bands out there churning out their sound as I type this. But true entertainers like the Drive-By Truckers are playing for beer while Britney Spears shows her navel yet again on national television. I wish I could remember who it was (maybe one of the Blink 182 dudes), but I read a quote by some rock musician who openly quipped that the only reason to buy a Britney Spears CD would be to pleasure oneself to the cover picture -- and therefore people should buy it on vinyl for a bigger photo. But for all the slagging Britney and her glee club compatriots receive, they're getting the last laugh on all of us. And this, my friends, this is why you must all rush out there and buy the new Bruce Springsteen live album. Not simply because it will be a great addition to your collection. Not just because you probably missed the '99-'00 tour with the E Streeters, one of the best concert series of the era, and want to see what the buzz was about. Not merely because it will definitely make you cooler, will probably get you laid, and will possibly improve your current life situation tenfold. Most of all, you should march like a majorette to your local mom & pop music seller -- as long as you're supporting big business with the purchase itself, no need to line the pockets of major retailers -- because you are saving the fate of rock and roll music. Do it today, do it now. Then, when the Boss is atop these same wretched charts, perhaps "the people" will remember what it's like to hear good music and Billboard, Inc. will no longer be the purveyor of the anti-Gospel. And you will no longer have to have your ears clogged with inane sounds and fury (signifying nothing) from a tall, goofy guy who looks "just like Bruce Springsteen."