Thursday, September 30, 2004

The Musical Musings 5

This week the topic focuses on those outfits that got out while the gettin' was still good. Before swollen egos, sheer boredom, and an itch to experiment resulted in an album like The Soft Parade (The Doors), Mardi Gras (CCR), Load (Metallica), or, of course, Ceremony (The Cult), they called it quits and moved on. These are:

5 Bands Who Packed It In Before Making a Truly Bad Album

Live albums and compilations are omitted from judgment, since they're consistently uneven and usually label-selected, respectively. Bands or artists that quit too soon and didn't have enough of a catalog are ineligible; we'll set the bar at 4+ studio albums, so Hendrix and Nirvana, while blunder-free, don't qualify. As always, we're authoritative on subjective matters here. In chronological order:

1. The Beatles
Dangerously close: Let It Be. Duh, of course the Beatles are here. Yes, Phil Spector's Wall of Sounds Awful nearly did Let It Be in, but it was still solid Beatles, and you know that can't be bad. Yellow Submarine doesn't count, as it's mostly compiled stuff, nor does the soundtrack to the dreaded Sgt. Pepper's movie. The Beatles went their separate ways just in time, as evidenced by the 15 or 20 Beatle-worthy songs the Fab-Four-no-more produced in the 34 years since.

2. Steely Dan
Dangerously close: Gaucho. Sure, George Carlin rags on them and they've always catered to the odd nerd/snob amalgam, but the truth remains that they put out consistently listenable music throughout the 70's. And then they quit, just like that. Brilliant. Serious asterisk on this one, since it came back to them and they reformed in 2000, but if they re-quit soon, they can stay on the list. Incidentally, they did win a Grammy after reuniting, which (a) is never necessarily evidence of good music, and (b) was considered an overdue make-up call a la Connery's Oscar for The Untouchables, but the album was regarded highly and probably not the ruination of their earlier legacy, either.

3. The Police
Dangerously close: Synchronicity. Five albums in six years and then done, so Sting can let his ego go wild. Their final album was good, but with some borderline soft rock and some slop ("Mother") inferior to the gags on their other albums. At the time I was disappointed they busted up, but it would've ended badly. With pop, reggae, punk, new wave, and rock all vying for Police airtime, Sting's new jazz/worldbeat vibe would've been a messy addition, so he had to move on. After all, if you love somebody, set them free.

4. The Smiths
Dangerously close: Meat Is Murder. These guys dissolved at their peak, and while Moz & Marr have both gone on to later successes, they weren't close to the creative or commercial heights they reached as The Smiths. The Smiths, New Order, and The Cure were the triumvirate of what was first known as alternative music, but The Smiths quickly finished what they started after four great LP's plus one great compilation of random tracks.

5. The Replacements
Dangerously close: Don't Tell a Soul. Before Paul Westerberg went his own way into the land of solo records, soundtracks, and somewhat obscurity, The Replacements were the kings of college radio. They cranked out three indie label and four major label records before Westerberg ended the Replacements' run, God rest their guts. All good, from the early garage thrash to the plain ol' rock 'n' roll. Some are better than others, but any one of them makes a good soundtrack to a night of drinking.

This was mostly off the top of my head, so I'm sure there are others. Many were close, save that one horrid record. A few others would have made the grade had some of the group not continued on in the band's name after key members were gone: The Clash after Mick was sacked (Cut the Crap was just Crap, including the blatantly fraudulent tune "We Are the Clash"), Pink Floyd sans Roger Waters, Van Hagar, and Skynyrd after half the band died.

A few on the right track now include the Old 97's, Ween, and Wilco, though each has a more particular audience and some close-to-the-edge suspects as well. Some have already misstepped, like R.E.M. (Out of Time, all of the post-Bill Berry stuff), the Chili Peppers (One Hot Minute), and U2 (Rattle and Hum).

Others are still spewing out recordings after years and years of great stuff, endangering themselves severely. By "others" I mean The Rolling Stones. Have they ever released an album that was bad by all standards, not just in comparison to Exile on Main Street? Their Satanic Majesties Request, Emotional Rescue, and all of the newest stuff are candidates for such a slag, but are they truly terrible? I'm not convinced the Stones have ever removed themselves from eligibility for this list, even if (a) they haven't really rocked since they were "sucking in the seventies," (b) Mick and Keith have both had solo records better than the Stones' releases of the same era, and (c) they're spewing out live discs and best-ofs with the same frequency with which they change their catheter bags.

Perhaps there are some questions for further scrutiny here, or maybe we should tackle the topic Ryan alluded to in his last post and see whether Michael Jackson is really the King of Pop. (That'll be quick.)

Thursday, September 16, 2004

The Musical Musings 5

[No, that's not the name of the new house band here. The MM5 is what Rob started a couple of weeks back; he envisioned a quintet of commonly linked albums, but I'm broadening the scope a bit.]

The 5 Best Shows I Saw at The Boathouse

The Boathouse in Norfolk,VA was a small venue opened in the early 1980's for those mid-range bands that couldn't fill Hampton Coliseum but still had a decent fan following. It was exactly what it sounds like, an old wooden boathouse on the Elizabeth River next to Norfolk's downtown area that was converted into a concert hall. "Converted" may actually give them too much credit; they built a small stage, installed a chain-link fence for the Beer Garden, and threw up a bar. Other than that, it was just an old, dingy, splintery, not very hallowed hall. It was great. Despite the oblong shape of the arena, it wasn't big enough to have bad places to watch the shows. If you had the energy, though, (and an ID at some shows, as the Beer Garden location did fluctuate) it was eminently possible to achieve up-against-the-stage viewpoints, or damn close to it. The Boathouse was a five-minute drive from my house in high school, and close enough to my college to warrant road trips for the bands who weren't going to play our college arena.

The Boathouse eventually went the way of the . . . rowboat, and nowadays those same intermediate-popularity groups play at the new NorVa facility in the renovated Granby Street area. The Boathouse still stands, though largely obscured by the baseball stadium in the way, and its sight evokes memories of some fine shows over the years. [Noting that I opted out of the Primus/Fishbone concert in 1991 because I had a test to study for (?!!)], the five best live shows I caught at this now-dead venue are, in order:

5. New Potato Caboose / Indecision, 1988

The Grateful Dead were supposedly bound to pass the torch to a number of bands as their reign appeared ready to draw to a close. Whether that ever actually happened is debatable, but most would agree that if any band received the baton, it was Phish and not NPC. Note: Taking their name from a popular Dead song was kind of a giveaway that there wasn't much creative uniqueness. Phish, Blues Traveler, and all of the other would-be followers did it right by doing it their own way. Anyway, the Caboose was surging in the late eighties, with a CD coming out (this equated credibility back then), and this was a blast of a show. Indecision was the VA band for which our high school served as groupie central before college introduced us all to a world of better music. Both bands were defunct (de facto, at least) by the mid-90's. Good fun at the time, though.

4. The Ramones, 1990

Something of a rite of passage to see these guys, even past their prime. The joke that every Ramones song sounds the same was dead on in live form, and it took a few moments into the first verse each time to tell which one it was. I had to endure the show with my musically uninterested girlfriend, since the rest of my friends got high and got lost en route, but it was a lasting good memory nonetheless. 1-2-3-4 . . .

3. UB40, 1988

UB40 has zero street cred these days, and most folks think they never did. Labour of Love took them to new fiscal heights, which led to new reggae depths, and that's all many listeners have ever heard. Freshman year in college, though, the guy across the hall gave me a dubbed tape of UB40's singles from their early years -- all politically-charged reggae tunes, and great ones. By the time I saw them, though, the set was comprised mainly of famous covers and newer stuff. It was still great, they sounded fantastic and the crowd was lively, but I most remember this show for the tunes they didn't play, and how I was probably one of the few who missed them. Oh, and I remember it for our buddy getting his horrible fake ID taken away.

2. Squeeze, 1987

I used to love Squeeze, one of the many bands falsely advertised as the "next Beatles." They didn't stick around on the music scene much after I saw them (a recurring theme here), but they were another band whose live sound equalled or bettered the studio work. Lots of fun, and they genuinely seemed to be having a blast on-stage, which is more than plenty of bands can say, including that other neo-Beatle squad of losers Oasis.

1. Living Colour, 1989

On a whim four of us drove down from Williamsburg to see Living Colour, mainly because we read they were charging a mere $4.99 entry fee. Their fantastic debut album had been on our stereos off and on all year, and we knew we'd enjoy the show. I had no idea it'd be the best concert I'd ever attended. While the music was great, the crowd was ecstatic, and we'd been drinking all the way down to Norfolk, the reason for the superlative had everything to do with the band's approach to playing their tunes to a sold-out Boathouse.

When we showed up at the door, we were quickly informed by the bouncer that the show was, as I said, sold out, and with us on the outside looking in. My friend and hallmate Brian Hightower then went into some sort of alter-persona of part car salesman, part politician, part Shakespearean actor. He explained with puppy dog eyes that we'd just driven down from Charlottesville (a lie, but a perfect one - far enough away to be impressive, not so far as to be unrealistic), that LC was our favorite band (another lie, but like I said, we were into them and could've passed a reasonable test on them), and that we would do just about anything to see them (a third lie, but we were drunk and who knows?). The bouncer shot Brian a "You had me at Charlottesville" look and curtly replied, "20 bucks." A little dismayed at the price, we all reached for an Andrew Jackson when we realized he meant 20 bucks for the four of us. The skinheaded, surly bouncer with a heart of gold, our next screenplay.

Back to what the band did -- they cranked out crisp, charged music for an extended set of way more songs than a band with a single album under their belts usually can provide. More importantly, they understood Rule #1 of live concerts: be thrilled to be there. Lead man Corey Glover seemed to spend more time in the audience than on-stage, diving out into open arms, getting tossed around during Vernon Reid's guitar solos, and singing songs on random dudes' shoulders. Such a great act for this venue -- we were right at the front and it was a moshing melee from the opening note until the end of the final encore. I was stunned by how much we all enjoyed the show, and I never felt as gratified to have been in a concert audience until I saw Springsteen with Evan Lloyd in the 13th row a decade later.

As you know, Living Colour kind of faded from view after that, never living up to that first album (and first tour). I think I heard they recently re-formed. Too bad the Boathouse isn't eligible for a reunion show, or I might have to call Brian and have him road trip across the country. It'd be worth it.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Effing Blogger

Just had a long post about a) Blelvis, from Blemphis; and b) my mild disagreement with Uncle Red Star's statement that parents continue to this day to be "repulsed and horrified" by their kids' taste in music, and Blogger ate it before I saved it or posted it. It was really great stuff, too, full of allusions to George Strait and the Rolling Stones, and Marilyn Manson, and the best live version of "Viva Las Vegas" I've ever heard, at least while drunk in Adams Morgan. You would have all enjoyed it immensely, and now it's lost to the world.

I'm getting another glass of wine.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Elvis, Buddy Kane, and John Locke

Just as Budwieser is the King of Beers to a few, and Richard Petty is THE King to others, and Buddy Kane is the King of Real Estate to himself, Elvis is indeed a king to some. The answer to Red Star's excellent query at first seems obvious, of course Elvis is not the King of Rock and Roll. His music is essentially irrelevant today, in both subject and sound. If one were to assign kingship based on how much Elvis-ness is in today's (and yesterday's) music then not only would one be in a derivative-spiral (was Elvis the first to perform music that made people want to bone?) but one would *have* to give that honor to The Beatles, or the Stones, or The Stooges, or even W.C. Handy, Son House or Louie Armstrong.

As a not so interesting aside, thinking about Elvis and what music can do to the pelvises of those who make it and those who listen to it reminded me of the greatest NY/NJ Tri-State area dance of all time - the FMNJD - or for those not in the know - the Fuck Me Now J.A.P. Dance. It's not really a dance per se, like the monkey or the swim, but it definitely got its point across at many a northeast high-school homecoming dance or prom.

Back to the Elvis question.... Whereas an objective assessment of his kingliasticity results in a resounding no (NO!) it's clear that objectivity is not the point. As El Vaca points out, most people *think* of Elvis as the king so it doesn't really matter what I think. I think Elvis could be considered a knight if one really wanted to get all mideveal on my ass but I'll submit that Rock and Roll is not a monarchy but rather a democracy. Presidents (Mick Jagger, Peter Frampton, etc.) come and go. There are extemists here (Alice Cooper) and there (David Bowie) who thrive on attention and there are elder statesmen and stateswomen (JJ Cale, Bonnie Raitt, John Hiatt, Lou Reed) who push things along behind the scenes by quietly putting out music that reiterates the lessons of the past or challenges the status quo. Young fired-up rookie representatives (Kurt Cobain, Gram Parsons, etc.) shake things up and the supreme court (Dylan, Led Zep, REM, et. al.) keep reminding us what it's all about. Elvis Presley might be the Thomas Jefferson of Rock and Roll - after all he did take already extant ideas and synthesize them into something that has evolved into our current State of Rock. The Beatles certainly were signers of the declaration. Alexis Korner could be the Elbridge Gerry of Rock and Roll - a relatively unknown figure whose fingerprints are all over the place. I'm not sure who the George Washington, Alexander Hamilton or John Adams of Rock are but a better question might be who are the Rousseau and Locke of Rock.

Fundamentally, Rock is the Gregor Samsa of this, and the last, century. There is no way of knowing what form it will take in the morning. That said, there is no way of knowing who, or what, will be "king". If we remove the shackles of hierarchical and linear thinking in regard to the Art of Rock and instead think of Rock as a fluid undefineable thing then we free our minds to really hear.

And one more thing. Oh my god (-ard!) Whitney. I just looked at the blog and saw what appears to be 20 pages of stream of consciousness begats from Oxford, Mississippi's favorite postmaster. I haven't read your tome yet and I've got a house to board up and anchor to the ground with steel cable in anticipation of Hurricane Ivan so I might not get to it for a while. Please accept my apology.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Not-Terribly-Poetic License

Album Review: License to Chill by Jimmy Buffett

This review, the first posted in this space, will likely end up with far more backstory than actual critique of the record – which might be a good thing. It’s just that my evaluation of this album is unavoidably tied to Jimmy Buffett’s 30+ years of music-making and its relative worth by comparison. No artist wants to be hamstrung by his or her past works, but in this case Buffett’s ancient history is much more of a standard for these new tunes than, say, other new music of any genre. Additionally, since music reviews, despite having the pretense of being objective analyses, are merely an individual’s personal opinion of some music, a bit of background on the formation of the reviewer’s tastes can only enhance the reader’s sense of the music without actually listening to it. (A huge i.e., Whitney’s going to inundate us with way more than we ever needed to know.)

License to Chill, besides being a distant, mega-distant, extremely distant second to another album whose title is a play on the “license to kill” expression, represents an overt change of direction for Jimmy Buffett. “Bubba” has gone Country, which sounds almost as silly as it really is. Let me explain.

Jimmy Buffett has spent his last 15 years moving further from the category of legitimate music-maker and closer to commercial entertainer, catapulting himself to superstardom in the cartoonish persona of the tropical party guy in the Hawaiian shirt with a parrot in his hand and a margarita on his shoulder. (He’s wacky like that.) What music he did put out, though not completely void of a highlight here and there, was largely bland fare set to steel drums and congas, reinforcing his Caribbean theme. So when JB released License to Chill, which features a half-dozen contemporary country music stars chiming in on tunes destined for airplay on your local “Today’s Hottest New Country” stations, it took many Parrot Heads aback. It shouldn’t have, for a number of reasons.

The most obvious clue to what was coming from Jimmy Buffett was the duet he sang last year with Alan Jackson, “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere.” The song was neo-country in its sound and neo-Buffett in its lyrics, right down to the witty, woo-hoo party train title – which might have been considered clever had it not been used by the venerable Slash’s Snakepit nearly a decade prior. Despite the fact that “duet” could be used fairly liberally to describe the tune, since Jimmy only adds one run-through of the chorus at the end (plus some of the nitwitted conversational chatter that has gradually become his signature style, much to my extreme chagrin) the song was a hit for Jackson and reunited Buffett and the Billboard charts (see below for some lunatic’s rant on those) for the first time in eons. Jimmy Buffett, Inc. had to see the dollar signs coming from an entire album featuring more of the same. To be cynical about Buffett’s commercialism these days is merely a reaction to its ubiquitous ugly head-rearing – defenders of the man point to his dearth of chartings (and presumably profits) by his latter-day releases, but the following statistics tell another tale:

a 11 live albums, including eight in the last two years
a 16 (!) compilation albums
a A Christmas album, a soundtrack re-release, a kids’ album, a musical, and several Margaritaville Café albums in the last decade

All that and he has yet to re-release his catalogue in remastered form with the full liners, the one commercial recycle that the music companies do that's often worth the repeat buy! Now, to be fair, of that ludicrous number of compilations, four are imports and six are cheap, rehashed issuances of his first two minor label (and minor quality) albums, so it’s questionable whether he has control over or receives financial benefit from every one of these shameful shams. But everything else seems to be coming from the King of the Parrot Heads himself, bilking bucks out of his “phlock” with repeated releases of the same material when all semi-casual fans really need is the box set and the first live one.

So the financial benefit from this new country bent for Buffett is clear; what the bellyaching Parrot Heads fail to grasp, and what few reviewers acknowledge, however, is that beyond that, Jimmy Buffett really was a country musician once upon a time. Some reviews have noted that Buffett recorded in Nashville early on, or that he grew up in Mississippi, but they seem ignorant of the man’s foundation in music – one that, if you had to classify it, could fall under both kinds (country and western). By now, one of JB’s frequent shticks is that his music has never lent itself to categorization, despite frequent attempts by stuffed shirts to do so. He’s gone so far as to address the notion on License, singing, “Am I country, pop, or rock and roll / I know they are related / So I'll just let you be the judge / It's simply complicated.” Well, he was pretty damn country back in 1974, and if you don’t think so, give a listen to his first few albums. (Actually, give a listen even if you do believe it.) Listed below are ten dandies from Buffett’s first four major-label records from 1973-75 (omitting those tracks you’ve probably heard on Songs You Know By Heart) that leave little question:

“The Great Filling Station Holdup”
“Cuban Crime of Passion”
“The Wino and I Know”
“Ballad of Spider John”
“God’s Own Drunk”
“Life Is Just a Tire Swing”
“Trying to Reason with the Hurricane Season”
“Tin Cup Chalice”
“My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, and I Don’t Love Jesus”
“This Hotel Room”

Like License to Chill, Buffett’s early tunes fit into the country pattern, but unlike today’s formulaic country-by-numbers takes, they only had some loose qualifiers: a little acoustic guitar, harmonica, and a little twang, some tales of wild nights, long-lost women, and oceans of booze. Buffett’s songs had his own, fairly unique slant on it all, though – relocating the yarns to south Florida, to the Caribbean, and beyond, usually via his ragged sailboat. Island life and a humor-soaked bemoaning/celebrating of his own hard living filled his lyric sheets. So many songs still make me a little jealous – of his audacity to drop it all and head to Key West, of his good fortune (not his wealth but his timely entry into a world destined for extinction), and the legendary times we can only hear about from the outside listening in now. (Hell, his live album was called You Had to Be There; perfect.)

That I chose to highlight the first four records wasn’t an arbitrary dividing line. There’s an entire organization and accompanying website called The Church of Buffett, Orthodox dedicated to the premise that these four releases are gospel, that the next one is “the most troubling part of scripture; some advocates believe it belongs in [the previous category], while others believe that, since it contains the apostasy of “Margaritaville,” it does not belong with those other enlightened works,” and that everything subsequent is sub par in comparison. Years ago I used to think these guys were a little hardcore, since I enjoyed a lot of what Jimmy did in the late seventies and early- to mid-eighties, even if not quite as much. Somewhere along the way, however, I swapped sides of the fence with the CoB,O; I’m finding myself far more exclusively interested in his early stuff, while the Orthodoxers are sporting Amazon links to License to Chill, hocking gear, and embracing what they used to curse. It’s bad enough that one of Buffett’s good early tunes, “Makin’ Music for Money,” stands in total ironic contrast to everything he’s about now. (He hasn’t played it live, for obvious reasons, since 1977 – CoB,O’s turning point – save an inexplicable tour set in 1995 that I guess he hoped would fly under the radar.) But when the self-appointed committee formed to celebrate what Jimmy Buffett was rather than is, or what he did rather than does, abandons its mission and spirals into the abyss of rah-rah Buffett groupies, it’s beyond annoying – it’s weird on a Body Snatchers/Stepford Wives level. I’m a little worried that I’ll be jumping aboard this conga line very soon, so it’s critical I get these thoughts down before the lobotomy. (Utter concession: CoB,O is still the tip-top website in the world for old-time Buffett fans.)

I need to keep reminding myself that this is supposed to be a review of the new album, not The Rise and Fall of James W. Buffett. The Cliffs Notes version of what happened after “Margaritaville” changed everything: country faded into pop/rock, steel guitars played alongside steel drums, and JB even occasionally approached the dreaded “soft rock” milieu I loathe, but the melodies and lyrics were still good, so it was forgiven. By the end of the 80’s, though (my personal CoB,O end line comes right before the out-and-out weak Hot Water), the music changed considerably. Tropical and topical like never before, he tackled issues like ATM’s, MTV, and jogging between five and 20 years after they were pertinent. He issued song titles like “Smart Woman (In A Real Short Skirt),” “Don’t Chu-Know,” “What If The Hokey Pokey Is All It Really Is About?,” and “Math Suks” (sic, unfortunately). Yikes. He really did once have something interesting to say.

And the cover tunes, oh my! Far, far worse than those indicted in articles below, Jimmy began a habit in the 1990’s of recording at least one sacrilege, blasphemy, heresy, or desecration per album. He’d take a massively popular track and Buffettize it, adding Coral Reefer band instrumentation and his own increasingly nasal, talky vocals. This is probably overly harsh, but Jimmy Buffett punched me in the gut several times with dreadful renditions of some of my favorite songs. Over three decades, he has done many good things with other people’s songs; that said, the successful ones were always the relatively unknown tunes by Steve Goodman, Jesse Winchester, or an array of other collaborators. After a solid (though inferior to the Van Man) stab at “Brown-Eyed Girl” in 1983, Buffett must have realized that covering an enormous hit took a lot of the work out of things. Fortunately, another decade passed before he decided to rest on other folks’ laurels as much as he was resting on his own. Beginning in 1994, however, JB has churned out a wretched version of the Dead’s “Uncle John’s Band,” a de-harmonized cover of CSN’s “Southern Cross,” an even more tepid facsimile of James Taylor’s “Mexico,” a feeble turn at Johnny Cash’s “I Still Miss Someone,” an I-can’t-believe-he-even-tried-it cover of Hendrix’s “The Wind Cries Mary,” and a there-oughta-be-a-law rendition of the Kinks’ “Sunny Afternoon.”

That last one particularly irked me for a couple of reasons: first, because it was one of my favorite songs of one of my favorite bands; second, because he edited Ray Davies’ lyrics to be more P.C. If you’re going to cover a song, cover it, dammit, I always remember Evan Lloyd saying. Old Ev used to bristle at Manfred Mann’s revision of Springsteen’s “For You,” one in which Mann clipped a dozen lines, then morphed “lick my sores” into “fight my wars,” presumably to be more radio-friendly. Buffett didn’t like the bad boy Kink image of “My girlfriend’s run off with my car / And gone back to her ma and pa / Telling tales of drunkenness and cruelty,” so he softened the last phrase as “Parrot Heads and parties.” It’s pathetic that he’d even need to edit those 30-year-old lyrics, and even worse that he did. If you can’t handle mildly abrasive lines (not exactly 2 Live Crew), just take a pass on the whole thing. Drove me nuts, as you can see.

I guess that wasn’t the Cliffs Notes version after all. More like the Cliff Clavin version. As I have painstakingly – painfully for you, by now – chronicled, the career of Jimmy Buffett has seen inversely proportional skyrocketing and bottoming out in commercial success and artistic value. (I swear, he’s only a year or two from being a Vegas act.) Everything he does these days seems almost comically hypocritical when you hear the words of old tunes like “Brand New Country Star” and “My Lovely Lady.” (CoB,O has the lyrics.) For his family, the results of all of this have been ideal; for the masses of part-time Parrot Heads, they have proven inconsequential; for Buffett . . . purists, for lack of a term without such stigmatic baggage these days, they’ve been incredibly disappointing. Taking it so personally is silly, except that JB has always endeared fans on a personal level, despite a relative shortage of fan-friendly gestures. [His online retort telling Parrot Heads to “get a life” after they defended longtime harmonica maestro “Fingers” Taylor’s ideals after he quit the band because (a) Jimmy barred his musicians from playing side gigs, (b) Jimmy started making bandmembers’ families buy tickets, and (c) Fingers wasn’t too keen on the direction of the band’s music (God love him) – had all the alienation of Shatner’s plea to Trekkies in the SNL skit without the comedic lighter side.] Plus, you just hate to see a musician you admired become someone you loathe. And boy, it pains me to type that.

The most obvious comment on the content of Jimmy Buffett’s output over these years is that he simply ran out of things to say. He told us everything that was on his mind and shared all of his escapades in the 70’s. He recounted his more extensive world travels and gave more of his ever-tiring viewpoint on the world in the 80’s. By the 90’s, he was down to “Hey, look where else I went” and relaying other people’s lines. He even penned an autobiography, but by then it was mostly a rehash of his songbook in prose. Ticket prices soared along with concert predictability, chasing even this former die-hard away from shows. Into the new century, he’s had even less to share and has seemed to be scrambling even more desperately for material. The outlook has grown dim nearly beyond hope for resurgence. Other not-quite-languishing artists such as Bruce Springsteen have recently recaptured a little of the glory of their past primes (even artistically speaking), but Buffett’s road would be a bit tougher to hoe. With all sense of reality blurred with green-colored glasses, his creative tank emptied in the energy crisis of the late 70’s, and his melodies usually armed with one hook less than a certain other pirate, there may not be much likelihood in the belief that the JB of old might return someday. But we’re still searching for signs of life, like maybe . . . this new album?

License to Chill (you thought I’d forgotten about it, didn’t you?) may, in fact, provide such positive signs, even amid the usual cringes, winces, and head shakes. You have to dig a little, but they’re there.

In a juxtaposition that is becoming a motif, the worst aspects of the record are the ones that will ultimately draw the masses the most (and sell the most units). The pop-country songs, each guest-warbled by singers with Billboard familiarity, are the crossover bait that stand out the most from the slate of 16 tracks. And they’re mostly dreck. They’re either Buffett-penned throwaways like “Conky Tonkin’” and the title track, or fine songs marred in their cover form by JB and pop sensations Toby Keith, Alan Jackson, et al, like “Boats to Build” and “Piece of Work.” Only five of the 16 songs were actually written by the Chief Parrot Head, though you wouldn’t know it from the liners, which forgo all writing credits in an at-best disingenuous and at-worst plagiaristic omission. Several of the five self-authored tunes represent the worst writing on the album. In addition to the two mentioned above, “Simply Complicated” has been trashed by even the most complimentary reviewer, though in truth it’s no worse than the others. The title cut is painful enough to warrant further scrutiny. The opening lines are “Work, work, work / Big pile of it and the boss is a jerk.” This from the songwriter who once boastfully mused upon his own work that “Anybody can rhyme cat and rat. I look for things beyond two syllables – like attitudes and latitudes.” In a non-scientific search, “work” and “jerk” have unofficially been rhymed in song lyrics 11,898 times, most often by middle school garage bands and acts singing in English as a second language. There is plenty on this record for the Orthodox Buffettite to despise. Still, it’s not without a bright side.

The positives begin with the songs Jimmy wrote that didn’t fall into the pit of neo-country duets: “Coast of Carolina” and “Coastal Confessions.” Both of these songs are strong enough to both provide hope for the future and insist that Jimmy include “coast” in every song title from here on out (to join the solid “Coast of Marseilles” and “When the Coast Is Clear” off older albums). The second ray of light is the choice of covers. With 11 works lifted from other artists, he could have gone down main street for his choices, but he largely stayed away from hits, employing the use of singer/songwriter types like John Hiatt and Bruce Cockburn from whom to swipe tunes. He’s banking on you never having heard Hiatt’s and Cockburn’s voices on the originals, as their pipes dwarf his own – and that’ll be the case for most listeners. Sure, the lead track is “Hey Good Lookin’,” but if you can manage to put aside Hank Sr.’s classic, JB’s jazzed-up rendition has more spirit than anything he’s thrown together in a long time. And then there’s “Scarlet Begonias,” for which it’s a minor miracle that I mention this in this paragraph and not the one prior. It’s my all-time favorite Grateful Dead song, and when I saw it printed on the track list, I cursed Buffett like the sailor he used to be. The reason I praise it, though, is that it didn’t make me vomit uncontrollably when I heard it, a moral victory to be sure. It’s actually quite true to the original, which garners no favor for dead-horse reasons, but which somehow impressed me. The difference comes in Buffett’s vocals, which went south on him 20 years ago and come across as more than a bit geeky. In enunciating every syllable, he dorks up Jerry’s smooth slurs. (Example: “Grosvenor” gets so over-pronounced that “Grosvenerd Square” inevitably comes to mind.) Other than that, though, there’s little as disastrous as in earlier tries at covering my favorites.

Also of note is Jimmy’s startling recruitment of Bill Withers – stunning, since Withers retired years ago and it seemed unlikely that someone as far removed from his work as Jimmy Buffett could lure him back out. Withers, for the unfamiliar, you know as the guy who originally did “Lean On Me,” though I dig him for the most soulful two minutes of the 1970’s in “Ain’t No Sunshine.” Withers wrote and co-crooned “Playin’ the Loser Again” off this album, an imminently listenable tune by comparison with some of the other collaborations. Kudos to Buffett for that move, and whatever you’ve got on old Bill, keep twisting the knife for future work.

So License to Chill, despite the witless title, is not without its merits, though it seems every one of them comes with a few bowlines attached. Ever the optimist (you can’t have purchased every Jimmy Buffett studio album without being either an optimist, an idiot, or both), I choose to see the upside of this release as a re-launching of Jimmy B’s recording career in a brighter vein than we’ve seen in many years. After his early solid work and his extended second period of crap, this will be the third door, with Jimmy excavating his old line, “I'll be back just wait and see / 'Cause my whole world lies waiting behind door number three.” For the longtime fans who’ve endured a torturous stretch, I’d say give this one a shot. It doesn’t hark back to those vintage years, but it’s a step in the right direction after miles and miles traveled the wrong way for so long.

Oh, yeah – for the average listener, though, I’ll give it a more brutally honest grade. Sorry, but I don’t want anyone other than a maniacal Parrot Head wasting their money on this record. For you people, go buy A1A and thank me later.

Musical Musings Review: C-

[Future reviews need not -- and probably should not -- be this long. But I think it was cathartic for me to vent on this subject. I promise to keep it more brief in subsequent critiques.]

Rex!

Elvis should absolutely be forever crowned the King of Rock & Roll.

He was the first megastar in that crazy genre called rock and roll, and he's still universal. Even today, anyone in the world with a modicum of pop culture in their head knows Elvis. Can that be said of his peers; will that be said of his followers? "King" is the perfect title for him, since it's an antiquated role (see Kingdom, United) and one that was never based on merit. Sure, he didn't write his own tunes like say, Chuck Berry. Doesn't matter. King-liness is as much a state of mind -- his own and his people's, and Elvis had it. He embraced the role, and even went he went down in flames, his people loved him. Hordes of minions worshiped him, but even those who thought he was a joke -- if they like their rock and roll -- admire his place in musical history.

Kings have elaborate, costly, wastefully opulent castles. (See the Jungle Room at Graceland.) Kings have stately queens, who, only after the King has passed on, make Naked Gun! movies where they employ physical comedy and beaver jokes. Maybe the Beatles were some kind of Parliament (but wait, where does that leave Parliament?), the Clash were the Czars of Rock, and perhaps latter day leaders are mere Presidents (excepting Prince & the Boss, who have their own titles), but there can be only one King, and that's E-L-V-I-S. Love that guy.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Five Albums

I'm starting a running feature (and by starting, I mean that I want everyone else on this blog to do the heavy lifting) by presenting 5 albums that have a common theme. Today's theme: albums that I haven't heard in a long time, even though I loved them at some point in my life.

1. London 0, Hull 4, The Housemartins

2. Louder Than Bombs, The Smiths

3. Appetite for Destruction, Guns n' Roses

4. Pocket Full of Kryptonite, Spin Doctors/3 Years, 5 Months, & 2 Days in the Life of..., Arrested Development

5. Songs to Learn and Sing, Echo and the Bunnymen

In high school, when most of my classmates were listening to Top 40 bubblegum crap, the Housemartins, Smiths, and Bunnymen made me feel just a little bit avant garde - like I was part of something just a little bit cooler, and more sophisticated. Along with The Cure, the Church, the Waterboys, Hothouse Flowers, and other staples of MTV's 120 Minutes, these bands were the foundation of my future musical tastes.

My high school lacrosse teammates and I used to grill shark steaks and crank G 'n R before big games. Mr. Brownstone is still my favorite metal song.

I spent my first year out of college driving around the Eastern United States in a useless job for my fraternity's national office. One of the saving graces of that time was the hours upon hours I spent driving with the radio turned up loud. I wore out the Spin Doctors and Arrested Development. I can't really stand the Spin Doctors today - every album after that one was horrid - but I still know all the words to Pocket.